Letting go, gracefully, of what is not meant for you. So much easier said than done.
I’ve been getting a ton of messages regarding my story on “How to be single and happy”. These entires were from my journal over two years ago. I am no longer hurt by that breakup, but yes, it did take a long ass time to get over it. It’s the aftermath that’s the worst, the self doubt and the loneliness.
I got a message today from a gal asking about the aftermath of heartbreak. This young lady is 22 and experienced her first true heartbreak after ending things with her high school sweetheart. Her request for advice was simple, but man oh man did it pull at the ol’ heartstrings…
“I feel like I’ve been alone now for so long and I just want to experience love again. But, I don’t feel good enough.”
My darlin’, you are going to be just fine. You’ve now had a taste of how sweet love can be and that might just be the toughest part. You were someones “person”. To no longer see their name pop up on your phone, to no longer have a designated cuddle buddy… someone to binge watch your favorite shows with… it’s tough.
But, there’s a reason it didn’t work and it’s called a break up for a reason… because it was broken. As you said “he didn’t treat [you] right in the end”.
Why was that? What was missing from the way he was treating you?
Remember those things. Write down what you DO want in a partner. What attributes do you need your person to have? Let go of the past relationship and focus on you.
I know it’s tempting to jump into something new (or dare I say something meaningless and quick) to fill the void, but don’t. You will find an interesting and adventurous person when you are doing interesting, adventurous things. You can’t go out and look for your person, you just need to live your best life and I promise that LOVE will find you.
For now, focus on you. Start writing, just for you. Every night before you go to bed, write down one goal for the next day, one goal for the week and one life goal. They can be simple: To make a breakfast of your favorite food, to write, sing, exercise, draw, etc. more… you get the point.
As cliché as it sounds, do not compare yourself to anyone you find on social media.
Remember that these are the HIGHLIGHT reels of people’s lives.. not their reality. It makes me so sad to hear that you are feeling less worthy because of what you’re seeing on other peoples feeds. You are perfect exactly as you are. Remember that.