Loneliness is the feeling of disconnect. Being alone is connecting with yourself.
I’ve had my fair share of alone time. I’m one of those people who really needs it for my sanity – but I wasn’t always that way.
I used to fear being alone.
I used to fear that I wasn’t making enough tangible progress when I was alone. I thought I should be doing more with my time, which then would lead me to do less. I would stress about all of the things I should be doing, rather than focusing on what I needed to do to be the best version of myself.
I would feel more comfortable in a group setting than when I was alone because others were with me and that meant my time was accounted for and validated in a way.
It wasn’t until I moved out on my own in a new city that I realized just how crucial and productive “alone time” really was and how much I grew from it.
When you’re alone, you have time to really figure out who you are, what you like and what you don’t. You rely on yourself. Instead of looking at alone time as lonely, I began looking at it as time to better myself and spend time getting to know myself.
Bubble baths, hikes, playing the uke, singing, reading, journaling, meditating, painting, running, and yes, the occasional binge of netflix. These activities are what makes me smile, these are what makes me, me.
It’s okay to be “selfish” and to take care of yourself by doing these things. Actually, it’s more than okay – it’s crucial. Yes, it’s important to get the nitty gritty done, but it’s also just as important to get the relaxing done, to have down time and to be truly mentally and physically free.
It’s important to ask yourself these questions often and know the answers:
1) What truly makes you happy?
2) Sunday morning, you have nothing to do: What do you WANT to do?
3) What calms you down after a long, hard day?
4) What’s your favorite meal to cook? Can you cook it for one?
5) What’s your favorite book?
6) No one is around: what makes you laugh?
7) How do you challenge yourself?
Take care of yourself and take the time to get to know yourself, by yourself.
You will become more present in everyday life.
When alone time becomes synonymous with bettering yourself, it will never be unproductive, boring, or lonely again.
What do you like to do in your alone time? Let me know, below!